


new york, new york

by givebackmylifecas



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Character, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Crossover, Eddie Diaz-centric (9-1-1 TV), First Kiss, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28880226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givebackmylifecas/pseuds/givebackmylifecas
Summary: Eddie turns to look at Buck, squished into the middle seat of the cab and smiles. On Buck’s other side, Chris is pressed to the dirty window, staring out at the city.“You okay?” Buck asks quietly.Eddie nods. “Yeah. Just wish we didn’t have to go to give witness statements on our vacation.”“I feel you,” Buck says, bumping his knee against Eddie’s. “But hey, we’ll wrap this up quickly and then we can go see the Statue of Liberty.”Buck, Eddie, and Chris take a trip to New York and accidentally become witnesses in an SVU case. Helping out the detectives leads Eddie to learn some things about himself and his relationship with Buck.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 27
Kudos: 187





	new york, new york

**Author's Note:**

> so this is me combining my two favourite shows but since it's so eddie-centric i don't think you need to have seen SVU to keep up with the plot, but you probably will have to have seen 9-1-1
> 
> TWs: derogatory language, mentioned/implied assault, mild swearing, discussion of sexualities

“Buddy, are you sure you can manage that whole slice?” Eddie asks sceptically, staring at the large piece of pizza a waitress had just deposited in front of Christopher.

“I can do it, dad,” Chris insists, looking to Buck for help.

He happily jumps in, wrapping an arm around the boy and mock-glaring at Eddie. “Yeah Eds, he can do it. He’s a growing boy and growing boys need pizza more than anything else.”

Eddie rolls his eyes as Chris nods in agreement, but can’t help the fond smile that spreads across his face. “Well, I suppose we are on vacation.”

“Oh, we should get bagels later!” Buck announces around a mouthful of his own pizza. “You can’t go to New York and not get bagels.”

Christopher makes an enthused noise at the thought and Eddie sighs.

“Tomorrow, okay? I don’t think we need bagels after dinner.”

Buck nods his agreement and they all dig into their pizza. Eddie can’t help but smile as he watches Buck interact with Christopher. He hadn’t been sure whether taking Buck up on his offer for them all to spend Christopher’s spring break together, somewhere far away from LA would be a good idea – Christopher’s routine had been disrupted a lot recently with the recovery from the tsunami and losing Shannon – but seeing how happy his son and his best friend are… it’s clear he made the right decision.

They finish their dinner and then leave the restaurant, Christopher cheerfully listing all the things he still wants to see while they’re in New York. Eddie grins when Buck glance over at him, looking immeasurably fond of Christopher. Something in his stomach twists and he resolves to try and eat food with less grease tomorrow.

“Dad, what’s that?” Christopher asks, stopping so that he can point without unbalancing himself.

Eddie throws a look at Buck who shrugs his own confusion, and crouches down beside Chris. “What’s what, buddy?”

“Over there,” Chris says, pointing at a gap between a jewellery store and a Chinese restaurant. “That lady, she looks ill.”

Eddie squints across the road and his eyes widen in horror when he sees what Chris has seen – a young woman, bloodied and bruised, her dress torn, slumped against the rough bricks of the restaurant.

“Buck,” he says grimly.

“I see her, let’s go,” Buck says, already moving towards the edge of the side walk.

Eddie sweeps Christopher up into his arms and follows Buck across the road. Dodging angry New York drivers, they make it unscathed to the other side.

“Swap?” Eddie says to Buck as they approach the woman and the extent of her injuries become clear.

Buck nods, holding his arms out for Christopher who goes to him happily, although his little face is creased in concern. They slowly move closer to the woman, trying their best not to startle her.

“Ma’am?” Buck asks gently. “Are you alright?”

The woman shakes her head, but shies away when Eddie tries to reach for her.

“It’s okay, we’re firefighters – and I’m an EMT – I just want to help,” he says, but she still looks nervous, eyes darting from Eddie to Buck who is still holding a curious and worried Christopher.

“Here,” Eddie says, taking off his jacket and offering it to her. “Would you like to put that on? Just to cover yourself?”

The woman looks at the proffered jacket, then down at herself, only then seeming to realise her state of undress. She snatches it out of Eddie’s hand, wrapping it around herself gratefully.

“Can you tell us what happened?” Buck asks and she shakes her head. “Well, if it’s alright with you, I’m going to call an ambulance – you need to go to hospital.”

The woman starts to shake, her bloodied lip trembling as she starts to cry. Eddie shuffles a little closer, wrapping an arm around her gently.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he says to her. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Behind them, he can hear Buck on the phone asking for an ambulance to be sent to their location. The woman continues to sob, and Eddie almost doesn’t want to know what happened to her to cause her this amount of pain and despair.

“Hey!” a male voice yells, echoing out of the alleyway they just came from. “You bitch, I paid for a full hour, get back here.”

The woman goes rigid with panic and starts to try and run. Her eyes are wide with fear and Eddie feels a fire of anger that he thought he’d doused since leaving the fight club flare up inside him.

“It’s okay, we’ll look after you,” he tells her as the man comes barrelling out of the alleyway.

He’s in a stained white dress shirt and cheap slacks, with three-day stubble covering his doughy face, which flushes an angry red when he sees Eddie and the woman.

“Hey, get away from her!” he bellows and Eddie moves so the woman is behind him. “She’s mine for the next forty minutes and she knows it!”

“Listen man, the lady doesn’t look like she’s into it, so maybe take the hint and leave her alone,” Eddie says and if possible, the man colours even darker.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” he yells, stepping towards Eddie, hands curled into fists.

Eddie takes a step back and then Buck is there beside him, shoulder pressed against his, effectively forming a barrier between the man and the woman. A quick glance behind him shows Christopher standing beside the woman, holding her hand in one of his.

“You think you can take me, tough guys?” the man asks, eyes manic, pupils blown wide as he stares at them. “Try it, but that bitch is going back with me.”

“Yeah, I really don’t think so,” Buck says and Eddie almost grins at how certain he sounds.

“What’s going on here?” a new voice, with an incredibly broad New York accent asks.

Eddie and Buck turn to see two men walking towards them. They’re both in suits and the shorter one is carrying a briefcase.

“None of your fucking business,” the man from the alleyway snaps.

The taller of the two men, the one with the accent raises an eyebrow, then pulls back his suit jacket to flash a shield. “Oh yeah? Detective Carisi, NYPD. Now what’s going on here?”

The man from the alley looks between Detective Carisi and Eddie and then bolts. The detective sighs and then darts after him, emerging from the alleyway a few moments later with the man handcuffed. Two uniformed police officers arrive just then and Carisi busies himself, handing the cuffed man to one of them, while the other goes to talk to the woman who reluctantly lets go of Christopher’s hand.

“Perhaps you two could explain?” the man with the briefcase asks.

Eddie squints at his waist, but can’t make out a badge. “Are you a cop too?”

The man smirks. “Nope. Assistant District Attorney Rafael Barba.”

He holds out his hand and both Eddie and Buck shake it.

“Nice to meet you, Mr Barba,” Eddie says. “It’s not much of a story really. Buck and I were having dinner across the road with my son Christopher and when we were leaving Chris spotted this lady in distress.”

“And you just decided to help her out of the goodness of your heart?” Barba asks suspiciously.

“Yeah,” Buck says bluntly. “We’re firefighters out in L.A. and Eddie is also a certified EMT. We just saw someone in trouble and wanted to help. Then that… man came running out of the alley and started yelling about how he paid for her so she was his.”

“Is that right?” Barba asks, then looks over at Carisi. “Sonny, I’m calling Liv – this is an SVU case as of now.”

Carisi nods. “Alright Rafa.” He smiles apologetically at Eddie and Buck. “You two will have to come to the station tomorrow since you’re witnesses.”

Eddie looks over at Buck who grimaces but nods. “Alright. We’re still in town for a couple of days so that should be fine.”

He sweeps Christopher up into his arms who laughs and Eddie smiles at them.

“Chris, we have to go down to the police station tomorrow, okay?” he asks and his son nods.

“Yep. Is Anna going to be okay?” Chris asks.

“Anna?” Buck questions.

Christopher frowns. “The lady, the one you helped. Her name is Anna. She told me so when I asked her if she wanted to hold my hand.”

“Uh,” Eddie starts when Detective Carisi steps in.

“Anna’s going to be fine,” he assures Christopher. “One of our police officers is going to the hospital with her to make sure a doctor looks after her.”

Christopher smiles. “That’s good. Just make sure she isn’t scared, hospitals can be scary.”

Detective Carisi’s expression softens. “I will, one of my colleagues is going to meet her there to make sure she isn’t alone.”

There’s the sound of a scuffle and they all turn to see the man trying to escape from the uniformed officer who was trying to put him in the squad car. Barba sighs and rolls his eyes and Detective Carisi heads over to help out the other officer.

“This is ridiculous,” the man yells. “I’ve done nothing wrong, you can’t arrest me.”

“I think you’ll find that I can,” Detective Carisi says with a grin.

The man scoffs. “What is it? You want to fuck her too? Go right ahead! You fuck her and then maybe we can come to an agreement.”

Buck had covered Christopher’s ears the minute the man started shouting and had walked a little way down the block with him so only Eddie hears Detective Carisi’s sarcastic reply.

“Pal, if I don’t want to fuck my own boyfriend, I doubt you can bribe me with sex with a non-consenting woman.”

Eddie frowns and glances over at Barba who is watching the scene with a bored expression.

“They say stuff like that a lot,” he says in response to a question Eddie hadn’t asked. “It never occurs to them that not all cops are straight, allosexual men. Sonny’s used to it.”

Detective Carisi finishes shoving the man into the back of the squad car and then comes hurrying back to them. “If I could just take down your names, numbers, and where you’re staying – we’ll give you a call tomorrow and tell you when to come in to give your statements.”

Eddie nods and reels off both his and Buck’s information. Detective Carisi nods and looks over Eddie’s shoulder where Buck is still walking about with Chris in his arms.

“See you tomorrow then, Mister Diaz. Tell your husband and son goodnight too.” Before a shocked Eddie can say anything, Carisi is turning to Barba. “Rafi, I gotta go – but I’ll see you at home.”

Barba nods, allows himself to be kissed and then Carisi is folding himself into the front seat of the squad car and driving away.

Barba nods at Eddie. “Enjoy your time in New York,” he says and then he’s stepping towards the curb and hailing a cab.

Eddie catches up with Buck who is still pacing with Chris and seems to be talking to him about the likelihood of dinosaurs coming back to life – a frequent topic of conversation between the two of them since they’d bullied Eddie into letting them watch the new Jurassic Park movie.

“Okay boys, how about we go get ice cream and head back to the hotel,” he suggests and Chris cheers loudly, making Buck wince since his ear was right next to Chris’ mouth.

* * *

“Eddie?” Buck asks, voice pitched low so as not to wake Christopher who had passed out on the subway before they even reached the hotel and was now fast asleep in the small bed that had been squeezed into the room.

Eddie looks up from his phone to see Buck propped up in his own bed, squinting at him in the dim light. “What’s up?”

“Are you okay? You’ve been quiet,” Buck says softly. “Is it that girl?”

Eddie shrugs noncommittaly. “Sort of. But also that Detective we met…”

Buck tilts his head. “He was a character, huh? Think he’s taken though.” He grins as Eddie splutters.

“That’s not what I meant,” he eventually chokes out and Buck laughs.

“I know Eds, so what about that cop?”

Eddie debates just brushing Buck off, but… he’s his best friend they talk about everything – plus Buck knows a lot more than people give him credit for. “His uh…boyfriend I think he was…”

“The lawyer?” Buck asks and Eddie nods.

“Yeah, when that guy yelled at the detective, that lawyer Barba said that the perps think all cops are straight and allosexual.” He says the last words tentatively, unsure of what Buck’s reaction will be.

Buck shrugs. “Well I guess it’s like L.A., a lot of cops are closeted there too, aren’t they?”

“Yeah…” Eddie says slowly. “I just… what did the last bit mean – allosexual?”

“It’s the opposite of asexual,” Buck says casually.

“Asexual?” Eddie repeats. “That’s the people who don’t have sex?”

“Nope,” Buck says with a grin. “Many ace people still have sex, they just don’t always experience sexual attraction. Some experience it rarely, some never, some only when they have an emotional connection.” Eddie nods silently and Buck stretches a foot across the gap between their beds to poke his thigh. “You’re lucky you asked me and not Hen. She expects us all to know everything about the community. Well, probably me more than you since you’re straight.”

Eddie squints. “And you’re not?”

Buck laughs, then becomes more serious when Eddie doesn’t laugh with him. “Oh, you’re serious. Eddie, I’m pan – we’ve talked about it before.”

“Buck, I definitely would have remembered that about you,” Eddie insists.

“Huh,” Buck says, frowning in confusion. “Maybe I didn’t tell you? Well either way, you know now. That is… it’s okay with you, right?”

“What? Of course it is!” Eddie says vehemently and Buck smiles sunnily at him.

“Good.”

“But asexual people,” Eddie prompts again. “They… what does it mean that they don’t experience sexual attraction?”

Buck frowns. “Well, I don’t know for sure but I guess it's like how you look at someone or interact with them and sort of have the urge to sleep with them - and ace people don't have that.”

Eddie frowns. “Okay, but who the hell just looks at or talks to people they don’t know and wants to sleep with them?”

“Um, me,” Buck says cheerfully. “All the time, Buck 1.0 definitely felt that a lot.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, trying to think about himself and the people he’s found attractive – he doesn’t think he’s ever experienced what Buck’s talking about.

Even with Shannon… he’d slept with her when they first started dating because it seemed to be expected of him and when she returned they fell back into bed because it was familiar, but he can’t honestly say that he’d wanted to sleep with her from the moment he met her.

“So just anyone you think looks attractive?” Eddie says quietly. “You look at them and you feel… like you want to do stuff with them?”

He risks a quick glance at Buck who is peering at him curiously.

“Sure,” he says. “But Eds, it’s different for everyone, y’know? There’s no one right way to experience attraction.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says nodding. “I uh, think I might crash now – busy day tomorrow.”

Buck looks concerned but nods, before reaching across to the bedside table and turning out the light.

“Night Eds.”

“Good night, Buck.”

* * *

When he wakes up the next day, Eddie still feels weird. It’s just that he’d never thought about whether he was attracted to people or not and now he can’t stop thinking about it. Like how you don’t notice your breathing until you think about it and then you forget how to do it. He just can’t stop thinking about what Buck said – Eddie can honestly say he’s never looked at anyone and wanted to sleep with them, he always thought that sort of thing was exaggerated in movies and on TV.

Buck nudges his shoulder and flashes him a smile. Eddie turns to look at him, squished into the middle seat of the cab and smiles. On Buck’s other side, Chris is pressed to the dirty window, staring out at the city.

“You okay?” Buck asks quietly.

Eddie nods. “Yeah. Just wish we didn’t have to go to give statements on our vacation.”

“I feel you,” Buck says, bumping his knee against Eddie’s. “But hey, we’ll wrap this up quickly and then we can go see the Statue of Liberty.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says trying to shake himself out of his funk. “It’ll be good.”

“That’s the precinct here,” the taxi driver says, pulling up outside a generic concrete building.

Eddie leans forward to hand him some money, plus a tip, and then slides out of the cab. The building doesn’t look all that intimidating, and once Buck has helped Chris out of the taxi they head inside together.

The desk sergeant takes their names and then directs them to an elevator that will take them to the floor SVU is on. When the doors slide open again, they’re faced with a busy bullpen. The desk sergeant must have called ahead because Detective Carisi is ready and waiting for them with an older brunette woman and a petite blonde.

“Mr Diaz, Mr Buckley, it’s good to see you again,” Carisi says enthusiastically, face dimpling with a smile as he steps forward to shake their hands. “Hi again Christopher!”

“Good morning, Detective,” Eddie says trying to smile.

“This is my partner Detective Amanda Rollins and our Lieutenant, Olivia Benson,” Carisi says. “Detective Rollins and I will take you in to give your statement individually so the other can stay with your son.”

Eddie doesn’t bother correcting the assumption that Buck is Christopher’s dad – it happens often enough and to be honest he practically co-parents Chris.

“I’ll go first,” Buck says cheerily.

“Right, if you’d come this way,” Detective Rollins says and Eddie watches Buck and Carisi follow her.

“We have some toys in one of the meeting rooms, if you guys want to wait in there,” Lieutenant Benson offers with a smile.

“That would be great, wouldn’t it Chris?” Eddie says and Chris nods shyly.

They follow Lieutenant Benson into a wood panelled room which does in fact have a lot of toys. Eddie does his best not to think too much about why they need a child friendly room at the Special Victims Unit. He takes a seat at the table and lets Chris go and explore the toys for himself.

“How old is he?” Benson asks, leaning against the doorframe.

Eddie looks away from Chris who has started playing with some Lego bricks and smiles at her. “Eight.”

“Good age,” she says. “My son is four.”

Eddie was in Afghanistan when Christopher was four so he can’t comment on how good an age it is. “They’re cute at any age, aren’t they?” he offers and Benson nods.

“So, family holiday to New York?”

“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “Buck thought it would be good to get away.”

Benson smiles too. “He seems like a good partner.”

“Oh,” Eddie starts. “We’re not –”

He’s interrupted by a knock from behind Benson and she moves out of the doorway to reveal the ADA from yesterday, Barba.

“Hey, Liv,” he says. “I hear the perp’s lawyer wants to make a deal?”

Benson frowns. “Carmen didn’t give you my message? The guy’s changed his mind again, thinks he can get away with nothing because she’s a sex worker.”

Barba rolls his eyes so hard, Eddie worries he’ll have an aneurism. “Great, so I came down for nothing.”

“Not for nothing,” Benson says. “It’s nearly lunchtime, why don’t you take Carisi out when he’s done taking statements.”

“Subtle,” Barba says. “But fine.”

Benson smirks. “Good, then you can stay here with Mr Diaz until his partner is done giving his statement and it’s his turn.”

Barba mutters something about how he went to Harvard, but Benson has already pushed past him and left. Barba rolls his eyes again and takes a seat opposite Eddie, pulling out his phone and typing aggressively on it.

Eddie glances over at Chris who is happily absorbed in his Lego building and then leans towards Barba.

“Um, excuse me? Mister Barba?” he says in low tones.

The attorney looks up from his phone, eyes narrowed. “Yes?”

“Can I ask you something?” Eddie asks quietly.

“I’ll save us both the trouble of saying that you already have and just say yes,” Barba says, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smirk. “But the answer will depend on the question.”

Eddie chances a half smile. “Right, well… You’re dating that detective, right? Carisi?”

Barba’s suspicious expression stays on his face. “Yes?”

“And yesterday you said people assume he’s straight and allosexual and well since you’re dating, I assumed he’s not straight… But allosexual? That means he’s ace right?”

“It does,” Barba says, sounding defensive. “Why?”

“Well I didn’t really know what it meant, but Buck explained it to me last night and it sounded…” Eddie trails off but Barba doesn’t speak, still staring at Eddie as if sizing him up. Eddie sighs. “Well, it sounded familiar,” he finishes.

“Familiar,” Barba repeats and Eddie flushes.

“Sorry, I – uh. It’s probably something he always knew, right?” he mumbles. “Not something he figured out after he'd already married and had a kid.”

He stares down at his hands, embarrassed that he’d spoken so openly to a virtual stranger.

“Actually,” Barba says and Eddie’s head jerks up. “Sonny didn’t always know. He figured it out when he first joined SVU. There was… a learning curve for him on LGBTQ+ issues and while researching he learned some stuff about himself too – he’s a good catholic boy you know, they’re not big on that sort of education.”

“Oh,” Eddie says. “Well, the catholic part I can relate to I guess. And the uh, lack of education.”

Barba almost looks sympathetic. “Look, Señor Diaz, I can’t tell you what to feel or tell you what you are, but I know that doing research never hurts. And neither does talking to your partner.”

Eddie scratches the back of his neck. “Ah, well, I don’t have one of those so…”

“What about the man Sonny is interviewing? Mr Buckley? I thought you two were –”

“No,” Eddie interrupts. “We’re not. We’re just friends”

Barba looks disbelieving but shrugs. “Well, talking to friends helps too.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says softly, then chances another question. “And uh… not liking or not being into – That is… being ace. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship?”

“No,” Barba says and he’s almost smiling. “It doesn’t. Everyone has priorities in their relationships. I know Sonny’s and mine are similar. It’s why we work.”

Eddie thinks of Shannon and he has to admit, he doesn’t think their priorities ever synced up. Not when it came to their relationship, or to Christopher, or even on what was most important to their family. He’s never met anyone he’s been in sync with except for –

“Bucky!” Christopher yells and Eddie turns to see Buck standing in the doorway, Detective Carisi behind him.

“Hey superman,” Buck says, crossing the room and immediately planting himself on the floor next to Christopher. “What are you building?”

Eddie tears his gaze away from them when Detective Carisi calls his name.

“Mr Diaz, are you ready to come with me and give your statement?” Carisi asks. “Don’t worry, your partner can stay here with your son.”

“Oh, they’re not together,” Barba interjects with a smirk and there’s a certain edge to his voice.

Carisi exchanges a look with the ADA that Eddie can’t interpret and then smiles at Eddie. “Sorry, Mr Diaz, if you want to come with me. Rafi, I’ll be back soon if you want to go to lunch after?”

“Why do you think I’m here?” Barba asks, already looking at his phone again.

Carisi laughs in response and gestures for Eddie to follow him.

* * *

All in all, giving his statement doesn’t take that long. Eddie just recounts exactly what he saw yesterday to Carisi and his partner Rollins. When he’s done, Carisi walks him out.

“There’s a small chance that you guys will have to come back to testify,” he says and Eddie sighs, making him grin. “But don’t worry, with such reliable witness and the fact that he’s got priors for assaulting other women, Rafael is pretty sure he can get his attorney to agree to a plea deal.”

“Oh,” Eddie says relieved. “That’s good then.”

“Yup,” Carisi nods as they approach the room they’d left Chris and Buck in. “So… you and Mr Buckley, you’re really not together?”

Eddie flushes. “No, we’re not.”

Carisi smirks. “Right, guess my observation skills have let me down – I’m usually pretty good with figuring out dynamics.”

“Yes, well,” Eddie mumbles trying to decide what to say when Barba emerges from the meeting room.

“Sonny, are you done? I’m starving.”

Carisi gives him an exaggerated long-suffering look and nods. “Yeah, Rafi. I’m done.”

Barba smiles. “Good. Then let’s go.” He looks over at Eddie. “Good luck with everything, Señor Diaz – and remember what I said, research and talking help.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, ignoring Carisi’s curious look.

Buck and Chris come spilling out of the room behind Barba, laughing about something together, but Buck must have heard at least the tail end of what Barba said, because he throws Eddie a questioning look.

“I’ll tell you later,” Eddie mutters and Buck nods.

“Thank you both for your help,” Carisi says, then crouches down so he’s of height with Christopher. “Anna is feeling much better today so she asked me to thank you for holding her hand when she was scared yesterday.”

Chris smiles sunnily. “That’s okay, it’s what my dad does for me when I’m scared.”

“And do you hold your dad’s hand too when he’s scared?” Carisi asks.

“Oh no,” Chris says seriously. “That’s what he’s got Bucky for.”

Both Carisi and Barba’s heads turn to look at Eddie and Buck. Buck clears his throat awkwardly and Eddie reaches out to pat Chris’ shoulder.

“Come on mijo, let’s not take up any more of the nice detective’s time.”

Barba is smirking when Eddie looks back up again and seriously, does the man ever not look smug?

“Goodbye,” Chris tells Barba and Carisi, letting Eddie and Buck usher him to the elevator.

“One day,” Eddie says under his breath as they leave the precinct. “People will stop assuming we’re together.”

Beside him, Buck laughs. “Yeah it happens a lot, doesn’t it? Anyway, who’s ready to see the Statue of Liberty?”

“Me!” Chris yells and Eddie smiles at his enthusiasm.

“Then let’s go!” Buck cheers.

* * *

The rest of their trip goes smoothly – without them witnessing any more crimes – and by the time they’re on the plane back to L.A. Eddie is feeling about as relaxed as he ever can. Christopher, who had insisted on the right to be able to look out the window, is fast asleep and Buck, seated between Eddie and Chris, looks to be going that way too if his drooping head is any indication.

Eddie presses his shoulder a little closer to Buck’s, hoping to encourage him to lean on him. Buck, as tactile as always, quickly takes the hint and settles his head on Eddie’s shoulder. Unable to resist the temptation of Buck’s unusually curly and unstyled hair, Eddie rests his cheek on top of Buck’s head and closes his eyes.

* * *

It’s late when they get back to Eddie’s. He deposits Chris straight into his bed and then collapses on the sofa. He can hear Buck in the kitchen and something warm unfurls in his chest at just how at home Buck feels in his house.

He’s almost asleep on the sofa when a hand settles itself on his knee.

“Eddie?” Buck asks, voice kept soft and low.

Eddie sits up and turns to look at Buck, who takes a seat next to him, but keeps his hand on Eddie’s leg, warm and comforting. There are two beers on the coffee table in front of him.

“What’s up, Buck?”

Buck hesitates a moment before speaking. “Are you okay? I just… Ever since we helped that girl you’ve been really quiet and I didn’t want to bring it up if there's nothing wrong, but I get the feeling there is.”

It’s not that he’s surprised that Buck noticed, he’s always been a lot more perceptive than most people give him credit for, it’s just that Eddie hadn’t really expected him to mention it – or maybe he’d just hoped he wouldn’t.

He’d taken Barba’s advice – the first part at least – and done some research. But the more he read, the more stressed he got because he’d somehow lived thirty-three years of his life not knowing something so big about himself. The easiest part of it all was coming to terms with how he feels about Buck. He’s loved Buck as a friend for a while, so being in love with him… it’s just the same but extra. He knows he has never felt this way about anyone he’s been with, even Shannon as much as he truly did love her. The only problem now is that Buck, open and loving and… sexual Buck – why would he want to be with someone like Eddie?

“Eds?” Buck nudges against him. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Eddie shakes his head. “No, Buck, it’s just… I learned some stuff while we were in New York and it’s just made a lot of things clear to me.”

“What kind of things?” Buck prompts when Eddie trails off.

“It’s… well it changed a lot about how I feel about myself and I don’t want it to change anything between us,” Eddie confesses.

He expects Buck to pull away, to drop the subject. But of course, Buck has always been more outwardly brave than Eddie. Instead of moving away, Buck presses closer, uncurling Eddie’s hands and threading their fingers together.

“It’s okay, Eds,” he says. “You can tell me.”

It’s only because of how well he knows Buck that Eddie sees his friend isn’t quite as relaxed as he’d like to be. Something about it makes Eddie feel a bit more confident.

“Buck I think I’m… I think I’m asexual and uh, I think the word is biromantic?” The words spill out of him embarrassingly fast and he trips over the last word.

Buck squeezes his hand reassuringly. “Thank you for telling me.”

“There’s more,” Eddie says even though, really, this is as far as he’d wanted to go tonight.

Buck’s face remains as impassive as Eddie has ever seen it and he nods encouragingly. “Eddie, it’s alright.”

“Just know that it doesn’t have to change anything, okay?” Eddie insists and Buck’s lips twitch.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

Buck squeezes his hand and leans forward. “You know there’s nothing you can’t tell me.”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods. “I know.”

“And you should also know that I’m in love with you.”

Eddie chokes on his own spit. “What?”

“I don’t know what you were going to say,” Buck says, his face flushing adorably. “But I thought if you knew that, maybe it would make what you have to say less scary.”

“Fuck,” Eddie swears and Buck grins. “I love you too.”

“Thank god, that would have been really awkward,” Buck says and Eddie laughs as Buck leans forward to kiss him.

He’s gentle, more careful than Eddie feels is warranted, but he pulls Buck closer, arms wrapping around his waist.

“Buck, wait,” Eddie says softly and Buck kisses the corner of his mouth. “You know I don’t just want… friends with benefits. I want everything with you. And I know I have a lot of baggage and Chris, and the asexuality thing –”

“Eddie, Eds, it’s alright,” Buck soothes, cupping Eddie’s face with his hands. “You think I’m starting this without knowing what I’m getting into? I’ve liked you since you started at the 118 – well, maybe since the day after.” Eddie laughs and Buck smiles sweetly at him. “And Chris I definitely loved from the moment I met him. You guys are everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“Really?”

“Would I lie to you?”

Eddie squints and gestures noncommittally which makes Buck laugh and kiss him again.

"And Buck..."

"Eddie, I don't know what you're still worrying about, but I'm sure I'll be okay with it," Buck reassures him.

Eddie smiles softly. "I know you think that, but being asexual... I'm not entirely sure what it means for me yet - if I'll ever want to sleep with you or anything."

Buck shrugs. "I'm okay with that. Just tell me what you're comfortable with, that's all that matters."

“Oh. So… we’re doing this?” Eddie asks, letting Buck pull him against his chest.

“Yep,” Buck says. “You’re never getting rid of me now.”

“Like I’d ever want to,” Eddie says.

Buck is quiet for a moment, then he squeezes Eddie’s shoulder. “When we’re ready, can I be the one to tell Hen and Chim? They’ve been teasing me for months about my crush on you.”

Eddie snorts. “Whatever you want, Buck. But can we sleep first?”

Buck’s reply is a giant yawn and when they curl into bed moments later, Eddie feels more at peace than he has in years.

* * *

“So you basically counselled a witness into coming out as ace?” Sonny asks around a mouthful of sandwich.

Rafael rolls his eyes. “No, he was just asking about you and I told him to do research and maybe talk to his friend. That’s hardly counselling.”

“Uh-huh, sure it isn’t,” Sonny says. “By the way, I’m not the only one who thought they were together, right? Cause Amanda said she didn’t get a vibe but I think that’s just cause she didn’t see them together for very long.”

“No, I thought so too,” Rafael says. “Who knows, maybe one day they will be – some people need longer than others to realise what’s right in front of them.”

Sonny groans. “Rafi, it’s been two years, are you ever going to let it go?”

“Nope.” Rafael smirks into his coffee. “Liv literally had to tell you that I’d asked you out, that’s how clueless you were.”

Sonny pouts, but grins easily when Rafael offers him a sip of his precious coffee. “Well, let’s just hope those two figure it out quicker than I did.”

**Author's Note:**

> so this was my first 9-1-1/buddie fic ever, i hope i did the characters justice! also all the discussions of asexuality are just based on my experiences but i know it's really different for everyone!
> 
> i'd love some kudos and comments or you can yell at me on on tumblr ([@hefellfordean](https://hefellfordean.tumblr.com)) or twitter ([@angstypalermo](https://twitter.com/angstypalermo))


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